


Coming Home

by VaderCat



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, Minor Character(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28146570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaderCat/pseuds/VaderCat
Summary: She thought he was dead. He thought she had moved on. What happens when these two run into each other on a cold, wintry night?
Relationships: Cassian Andor/Jyn Erso
Comments: 18
Kudos: 67





	Coming Home

Jyn sighed. Loudly. She had to look up at the high ceiling of the grocery store, to avoid anyone seeing her rolling her eyes. She thought she had picked the shortest grocery store line but then as her shitty luck would have it, the grandma in front of her had coupons! Like full on, thin, flimsy paper coupons. Who the fuck still used those? Then grandma forgot her rewards card, then she couldn’t figure out which phone number her rewards card was tied to, and to make matters worse, she couldn’t find her credit card in the large, oversized tote bag she carried on her shoulders. Then grandma swiped the card - multiple times - not understanding when the clerk told her that it was the chip. 

_Vamos viejita, ándale!_

Jyn froze. She . . . no . . . did she? Did she just think in Spanish? A pain . . . a deep, curling pain came to her, one she hadn’t felt in years. She blinked her eyes hard, trying to avoid the unexpected tears from coming out. She remembered chocolate brown eyes, smiling at her, telling her to hurry up, that she moved like an old woman. He had been dragging her to the doctor that day and she hated to go but her allergies had been killing her so he had made her an appointment and had dragged her there, kicking and screaming. 

“Miss?” The grocery clerk was waiting for her. 

_Now who was the slow one?_

Jyn shook her head, as if by a simple shake, the memory would go away. _She missed him. Still. It had been almost three years, she thought, painfully. Three years of being alone._

The clerk rang up her items. She had planned a baking night with her son but realized she was missing chocolate chips and milk. Her landlords, a kind blind man and his partner, a retired police officer, were her go-to babysitters and agreed to watch him while she ran to the store. She had moved to Chicago a year ago needing a fresh start. Scott had left her ( _I can’t compete with a dead man, he had said, his last parting, hurtful words),_ her father had moved back to London, her mother was dead. She had been all alone. So when a job presented itself in Chicago, an offer almost too good to resist, a great salary, with great benefits, she had jumped at the chance to get away. To leave everything behind. Memories behind. _Days on the beach, laying in the sun with him, the two of them wrapped up in each other’s arms, skin slippery, kissing, making love without a care in the world._

Jesus Christ, why was she thinking of him so much now. She didn’t know if it was because of the holidays? Christmas was right around the corner and everyone was happy, celebrating, going to Christmas parties, making travel plans to be with their family. Every time she put on Pandora, it automatically tuned to a Christmas station, the songs reminding her of times when she had people in her life, a family, a loved one. But now . . . she just had her baby boy who she loved more than anything in the world. But she missed her dad, she missed her mama, she missed _him._ She was so thankful to have her son but sometimes the loneliness would hit her and all she wanted to do was curl up in bed and cry. But she had to be strong, she had to take care of the little life that was all hers. 

She caught up in her memories she wasn’t paying attention when she walked out of the grocery store and bumped into a hard, unyielding, chest. She dropped her grocery bag and the milk fell and broke open, spilling out over the icy sidewalk. 

“Damnit,” she yelped out, the frustration from the store overwhelming her. She knelt down and the bitter cold of the frozen ground bit into her knees as she tried to gather her groceries. 

“Here, let me help you,” said an oddly, familiar voice. Jyn didn’t look up at the stranger, focusing on making sure not to slip on the milk and getting her chocolate chips.

“That’s okay,” she said, looking at her items on the icy ground. “I’ve got - -“

“Jyn?”

She froze. _That voice. It couldn’t be. He was de - -_

She looked up. 

She thought she saw a ghost. 

She thought she was imagining things. 

She thought she had finally lost it. 

But when he grabbed her elbow to help her up and she felt the physical contact, the warmth of his hand, the calloused fingertips, she realized he was here, in the present, _alive._

“Cassian?” She peered at him, taking her beanie off to swipe at her unruly bangs that were poking into her eyes. The snow was lightly falling around them, settling in his wavy, brown hair. His chocolate brown eyes were staring at her, in shock. 

_Flashes of his gravestone hit her. Cassian J. Andor. Brave soldier and friend. Killed in action. Her knees hitting dewy grass as the news of his death crashed over her in waves, suffocating her, going into shock._

_His last parting words. I’ll come back. No matter what. Silent whispers of I love you as she watched him board the plane for his flight. She thought of their last time together . . ._

_“When will you be back,” she said, stretching lazily in the bed, letting the sheets fall around her and he paused, his face flushing as he looked at her naked form._

_He stumbled as he tried to put on his boots and then cursed when he pinched his finger, zipping up pants which were getting uncomfortable in certain places. He thought of the mission ahead of him, the long stretch of time as he slowly got his hormones back in check._

_“Three months. I should be back in October.” He looked at her and he saw her the look in her eyes, the fear, the hesitation._

_He sat down on the bed and pulled her to him, cradling her chin in his hands. “I promise, Jyn. I’ll always come back for you.”_

_Always come back._

_He broke his promise. Jyn waited. Weeks and months went by and no one told her anything. Draven refused to take her phone calls. It wasn’t until she received a terse message from Saw with an address of Cassian’s location._

_It was a cemetery. She remembered the pain building up in her as she unwillingly searched for his gravestone, angrily staring at it, her anger turning to grief as sobs racked through her body._

_No._

_No._

_NO!_

_He was dead. The man she loved, her best friend, her lover was dead._

She shook her head and jerked her arm out of his grasp. “Who are you?” she hissed. “You’re not him. He’s dead.” Tears started streaming down her cheeks. “He’s gone. Who are you?” She cried out, her hands were shaking, her fists clenched tight at her sides. 

He looked at her and his eyes, _oh holy shit, his eyes._ “Jyn. It’s me. I . . .” She shook her head looking at him, backing away from him slowly. Her heart was beating rapidly. “It’s not you . . . I . . . was there. The cemetery.” She backed away from him. “You’re not him!” She twisted out of his reach and got all of three steps before she slipped on the icy ground, her head hitting the frozen cement. Warm brown eyes peered over her and the warmth of his hand on her head was the last thing she felt before she passed out. 

* * *

_Cassian_

_Jyn. Of all places. How - what - the odds of them living in the same city._ He knelt down and felt the back of her head and the bump was small. He checked her pulse while a crowd started to gather around him. “Is she okay?” the store manager shouted, running out of the store. “She lives over on Heatherly Place . . . with Dr. Imwe and Captain Malbus. Want me to call them?”

Cassian knew Jyn wouldn’t want to be fussed over and based on what she had told him . . . was fairly certain the shock had overwhelmed her along with the knock to her head. He scooped her up and held her to his chest and . . . _fuck. It felt so right to hold her in his arms._ As if all the loneliness and pain he felt these past few years had disappeared, replaced by the softness and heat of her. _His Jyn._ She groaned and her head nuzzled against his chest and her eyes blinked open slowly. “Cassian,” she whispered. “Is it . . really you? Am I dreaming,” she asked, still a bit dazed from her fall. 

He didn’t understand. He thought - how did Jyn not know he was alive? He bit back the rage that consumed him. _That bastard - Saw. He never told her._ “It’s me. Jyn,” he said, softly. “We’ll talk more. But right now we need to get you off this freezing ground and someplace warm,” he said, trying to soothe her. “Close your eyes. I’ve got you now.”

He wondered briefly where _her husband_ was. Why the hell was she going out to the store on a freezing night? He had a half a mind to go to her house and give Scott a piece of his mind. But it wasn’t his business. She wasn’t his anymore. She had someone else that loved her, cared for her, that gave her a child . . .

_He had survived. He made it out of that hell hole, half of his team dead, and the rest barely hanging on. He remembered the call to D.C., the debriefings, all the fucking paperwork. Draven saying it was a lot harder to make someone undead than dead. All he wanted to do was get home to Jyn, to hold her, love her, promise her he’d never leave again. But when he came back, she didn’t live on the base anymore, her dad having moved back to London. Saw refused to tell him where she was and Draven finally relented, telling him it was sometimes better to let things go._

_He wished he had._

_Because when he saw her in the window of the house, happy, glowing, a newborn baby in her arms, Scott’s arms around her and the baby, he thought hell was that desert he crawled out of . . . but this, seeing the woman he loved in a another man's arms was hell. Pure misery. His punishment for everything he had done, karma coming round to tell him he never deserved her. Deserved her love._

“Cassian,” Jyn said, and it was her voice, the lilting way she said his name that drew him back to the present, that shook him out of his memories. 

“Jyn,” he said, tracing a finger down her cheek. Her skin was soft and her eyelashes framed her eyes and _God he was still so much in love with her it physically hurt._ “Want me to take you home? Do you have a car? I can drive you?”

She shook her head. “No car,” she said tiredly. “I walked. I didn’t know - it wasn’t snowing when I left.” Cassian tamped down the flare of anger - _again directed at her lousy husband._ She gave him the address and he helped walk her to his car, unwrapping himself gently from her so he could open the door. “Do you need help getting in? I need to grab your groceries.” She quickly nodded her head but then winced as the motion most likely hurt her head. He reached out and gently cupped her head and she leaned into his touch, her eyes closing around the warmth of his palm. 

“You’re really alive?” Jyn said, still in shock. She thought he was gone. Dead. _The cemetery. Then when she went to confront Draven he confirmed it._ How was he alive and she did not know?

Rage and fury overwhelmed Cassian. All this time . . . he thought she knew he was alive and just didn’t want to talk to him. He knew she had moved on but he had thought that what they had, at least their friendship from their youth, the love they had for each other as friends. . . then as lovers, would have prompted her to reach out to him, to call him. He just figured she didn’t want him in her life, that she had moved on. But all this time . . . no one told her that Cassian Andor was alive. When she never bothered to contact him, he had fled California figuring she had moved on. He couldn't stand to be in the same city, knowing she was happy, worried he would run into her. 

She grabbed his arm suddenly, before he could ask any more questions, pulling him to her, hugging him tightly. He responded, enveloping her in his arms, her body angling against his perfectly. _Don’t get too close, he warned himself. She’s taken. She has a family now._

He could feel her cold face press against his neck. He didn’t want to take her home, _to her husband . . . to the family waiting for her. He wasn’t ready to say bye to her again._

“Do you . . . are you up for a cup of coffee?” he asked her, hesitantly. The grocery store they just left had a small cafe inside. A million thoughts were running through his head. _He had to know what happened. How did she not know? And then the horrible, selfish part of him wondered - would she have gone to him?_

Still in shock, she numbly nodded her head, letting him lead her back inside the grocery store. 

He led her to a small table in the corner of the cafe, away from other bystanders. She sat down while he ordered their coffee, millions of thoughts racing through her mind. 

Cassian handed her the coffee and she took a tentative sip. Strong with lots of creamer. Jyn smiled, thinking of how he remembered how she liked it. He sat down and pushed a bakery bag towards her. “You still like chocolate croissants, right?” She grinned and nodded her head, taking the warmed pastry from the bag and delicately nibbling on it. 

“Coffee cake?” she asked him, as he dug into his bag. He smiled at her. “Not as good as Carolyns,” he said, biting into the treat. Jyn’s eyes rolled to the back of her head as she thought of the small coffee shop on the beach back home that doused their coffee cake with scoops of melted butter. “Hmmm . . . definitely one of the things I miss about home.”

They settled into an awkward silence as they both sat there, sipping their coffee. She peered up at him and he looked so much older . . . even though it had only been three years. His eyes were sharper, his hair longer and he had the scruff that she always loved. Memories of him kissing her, mornings looking at herself in the mirror, her face, her neck, _her thighs,_ reddened from the intensity of his kisses. She could feel herself heat up, her belly warming at the memories of his touch. _Not now Jyn. You’re in a freaking Safeway Starbucks for crying out loud._

He caught her looking at him and gave her a sad smile. He stretched his hand out gently grasping her hand. “Jyn . . .” he said, hesitantly. “Earlier . . . you seemed surprised to see me . . . alive. I . . . don’t understand. I thought Saw told you I had survived, that it was all some shit mistake?”

Her eyes clouded over with tears, thinking back to that horrible day years ago. 

“Nobody would give me anything. Draven refused to take my calls. I finally went to Saw and he gave me an address . . . of where I could find you.”

Cassian gave her a puzzled look. 

“It was a cemetery, Cassian! They never told me you were KIA. Draven refused to tell me anything, saying it was classified. I didn’t believe it, I couldn’t believe it. But they declared you dead. And it had been six months. I knew if you were alive you would have come back but the cemetery . . .” Tears started to fill her eyes as she recalled that fateful day. “And I - “

“You had to move on,” he said gently. Jyn looked at him in surprise. 

“You know about Scott?”

Cassian couldn’t stop the flinch, the shuttered look in his eyes. He nodded his head.

Jyn tried to explain but he shook his head gently.

“The minute we landed, the mission was compromised. We were kidnapped, held in a cave for months. We’d probably still be there if it wasn’t for this kid - Bodhi - he helped us escape. But we were on the other side of the globe. No money, no identification. It took us months to crawl our way through the desert. We weren’t supposed to be there so we couldn’t even call home. We ended up finding passage on a freighter. By the time we came back . . . you . . . I saw you . . .

Jyn interrupted him. “Saw me?”

Cassian nodded his head sadly. “By the time I made it back to North Island, you weren’t on the base anymore. Draven gave me your address. 

Jyn looked at him sharply, anger coloring her pale features. 

“You knew where I was, why didn’t you tell me? This whole time I thought you were dead, Cassian!”

“Because you were happy dammit! I did go - Jyn! I was seconds away from ringing your doorbell and I saw you! In the window! With Scott. A baby in your arms."

“And I couldn’t ruin it for you. You looked so happy, so content. I left a note for you with Saw, waited until my service was over and then moved out here.”

He slumped back in his chair, remembering Draven’s bitter words after he saw her. _Married. Baby. Don’t wreck it for her. Move on. Draven had hoped his cutting words would cause Cassian to volunteer for the next mission but to Draven’s surprise, Cassian didn’t reenlist, cut all military ties and took a job offer from Bail Organa, teaching national security at a state college._

Jyn opened her mouth to speak but couldn’t seem to find the words. She didn’t know how to explain Scott, the baby and she didn’t want to do it in a goddamn supermarket coffee shop. She grabbed Cassian’s hand, gripping it tightly. 

“Cassian! I . .. take me home? Please?” She implored. 

He nodded. It would kill him to take her home. To another man. But if he could stretch out these last moments with her, he would take it. Even if his heart shattered into a million pieces once he told her goodbye. Again. 

They drove in silence, Jyn quietly giving him directions until he pulled up in front of a duplex, Christmas lights dangling from the eaves. He grabbed her groceries from the car while she opened the door and he stepped inside cautiously, noting the worn but comfortable furniture, a Christmas tree decorated with bows and various ornaments in the corner. He noted a toy chest in the corner of the room and stuffed animals around the chest. His heart beat loudly in his chest, his stomach clenching, trying not to think of the home she had now, _the home without him._

“Can you wait here a minute? I . . . need to get Jerry from Baze and Chirrut. They own the duplex and when it’s too cold to take Jerry out, they’ll keep an eye on him. He gets respiratory colds if he’s overexposed to cold weather.”

Cassian nodded and sat down on the couch, his eyes taking in the room, the toys gathered in a corner, the little sippy cups in the kitchen sink. Wondering why Jerry was with strangers and not with his father. 

She came back a few minutes later, carrying a toddler in her arms. The child turned his gaze on Cassian - 

And in that moment, Cassian Andor knew he got it _wrong._

“Jerry?” he said softly. Jyn nodded her head.

“For Jeron,” Jyn whispered. “I couldn’t roll the r’s and hoped one day he would learn to say them like -”

“ _His dad.”_ Cassian's heart stuttered as he stared at the brown eyed little boy that was the spitting image of Cassian’s father _\- Jeron Andor._

_His_ heart started racing. After all this time. How - she - where did they go wrong?

She held the toddler out to Cassian and he took him in his arms, the boy staring at him quietly, his chubby hand pulling at Cassian’s beard. Cassian took his hand, staring incredulously at the child, at the small half-moon shaped birthmark on his wrist that resembled the same one on Cassian's hand.

He looked up at Jyn, his eyes shiny with tears. 

“I found out I was pregnant the day after you left. That day . . . when I found out you had died . . . at the cemetery, I was . . . I didn’t take the news well. I nearly lost him.” Her eyes clouded over and she reached out to cup Jerry’s head, that was nuzzled against Cassian’s chest. “When I saw your gravestone, the grief . . . I was so upset, Cassian,” she said, her bottom lip trembling. “I fainted and woke up cramping and bleeding. Scott had been at the cemetery, we all thought you, Tonc and Sefla had died. He rushed me to the hospital. There were complications. But I had no job, I had just come off my father’s insurance. Scott offered to marry me so I could have his benefits -”

“He always had a crush on you,” Cassian muttered darkly.

Jyn frowned. “I . . . didn’t realize he wanted more until after I had Jeron. But . . . I couldn’t. If it wasn’t for Jeron, I don’t think I would have made it. I still had a part of you with me.” She looked at him, her eyes blinking away tears. “I loved you so much and I couldn’t get over you. He eventually left. Said he couldn’t compete with a dead man.”

Jyn took a deep breath. “I couldn’t stay in California. Everything reminded me of _you._ Mothma knew of this job opportunity out here, working for a software firm, so I took it.”

Cassian stared at Jeron, hugging him tighter to his chest. “He’s so small,” he commented. Jyn nodded her head. “He was a preemie. I had him at 30 weeks. He was so skinny, this little string bean.” She caressed Jeron’s arm gently. “He’s still not at full size . . . I could see why . . . when you saw me with Scott . . . why you thought he was a newborn.”

A small tear slipped down Cassian’s cheek. “If only I had stayed. If I had just rang the doorbell, I would have been there . . . with you and I could’ve seen him . . . you -“

Jyn cupped his head down to her’s, Jeron’s head nestled between the two of them. “It’s okay . . . Cassian. You’re here now.”

He pulled her close to him, his eyes pleading with her. “Can we still, Jyn? Do you . . . I’ve never stopped loving you. Those months . . . being gone. You were what kept me going, fighting to come back.”

She nodded her head and gasped out a small sob. “I could never stop loving you, Cassian! No matter what. You don't know how many times I went to sleep at night, praying, hoping you weren’t dead. I missed you so much and when I had Jerry, it was as if I still had a part of you with me and I knew I could never let you go. That you would always be _it_ for me.”

Cassian pulled Jyn to him, and Jeron blinked owlishly at Cassian, his dark brown eyes framed by thick lashes. “Da-da,” he mumbled sleepily. Cassian looked up at Jyn, startled. She shrugged her shoulders sheepishly. “I show him pictures of you. I wanted to make sure he knew you. That you wouldn’t be forgotten.”

Tears pooled in Cassian’s eyes. “I will never let him forget me,” he swore. “I’m here now and I will never leave.” Jyn leaned against him, their child safe and secure in his arms. She stared at the Christmas tree, the colorful lights twinkling, highlighting the soft smile in Cassian’s face. 

She reached up and tugged Cassian’s face down to hers, her lips brushing against his softly. 

“Welcome home,” she whispered and Cassian knew he really, truly was home. 

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to [ Sorcie](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/Sorcie/pseuds/Sorcie) for the beta. You are amazing!! 
> 
> Also that scene where Cassian sees his son for the first time was inspired by Chapter 11 of [Aewgliriel's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aewgliriel/pseuds/aewgliriel%22) RebelCaptain fic [Baby, You Need to Come Home](http://www.archiveofourown.org/works/10988304/chapters/24471792). Thanks for letting me use it as inspiration!


End file.
